As a devoted reader, I get genuinely excited when I discover a book that can truly benefit parents. Recently, I came across “The Let Them Theory” by Mel Robbins, a renowned influencer, public speaker, and author, and it sparked my interest immediately. Mel discussed this theory on her podcast last year, and it resonated with ideas I have long advocated for in my work with kids and teens.
The essence of the “Let Them” Theory is straightforward yet profound. It encourages us to let them—if someone says something mean about you, let them; if you’re not invited to a party, let them; and if someone doesn’t like you, let them.
However, this approach’s critical second part is titled “Let Me.” This means acknowledging that while we cannot control others’ behavior, we can control our reactions. Let them be who they are, dig their holes, and express themselves. The key is to recognize that we hold the power over our own responses. When faced with negativity, remind yourself: “Let them,” followed by “Let me” decide how I will take care of myself.
I introduced this concept to middle school students last year, and initially, their reaction was hesitant. When I suggested they respond with “let them” in the face of cyberbullying, they felt vulnerable and fearful of being an easy target.
However, as we dove deeper into the meaning of “let me,” they began to understand its significance. They realized that if they become victims of cyberbullying, saying “let them” means choosing not to engage with the bully. Instead, they could follow up with “let me” and reach out to a trusted adult, contact a resource officer, confide in a counselor, or inform their parents. They could block the bully on social media or simply ignore hurtful comments. This approach allows them to reclaim their power, conserving energy that would otherwise be wasted in futile arguments or confrontations.
Moreover, it’s important to note that Mel Robbins wrote this book primarily for adults, emphasizing the critical role parents play in helping children regulate their emotional responses. This is why it’s vital for parents to be attentive to their child’s social media interactions. As issues arise, parents can lead the way by modeling appropriate responses.
Social media can be an emotional regulation time bomb for kids—and adults—who face daily challenges online. By using the “Let Them” Theory with parental support, children will learn to step into their power. They will realize that while changing another person is impossible, they are responsible for their own reactions and actions.
How empowering is that! Together, we can guide our children to navigate the complexities of social media with confidence, resilience, and self-awareness!!
Kristi Bush serves as a national education consultant and social media safety advocate. She is a licensed social worker with greater than 15 years of clinical practice and health care experience. She attended Troy and Auburn University where she studied social work and counseling. Kristi travels nationally and has spoken with thousands of children, parents, professionals and organizations about the benefits and threats associated with social media. You may reach Kristi through her website at www.knbcommunications.com.
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Author: Kristi Bush
Kristi Bush serves as a national education consultant and social media safety advocate. She is a licensed social worker with greater than 15 years of clinical practice and health care experience. She attended Troy and Auburn University where she studied social work and counseling. Kristi travels nationally and has spoken with thousands of children, parents, professionals and organizations about the benefits and threats associated with social media. You may reach Kristi through her website at www.knbcommunications.com.
