Currently Browsing: Beth Long 10 articles
Why Is Communication So Hard? (Part 1)
Steven Covey coined the famous phrase, “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.” Communication is the number one problem I encounter in family therapy. This obstacle was clearly expressed in a text I received from an exasperated teenage client, “Who made communication so hard?” Such a wise […]
Appreciating Your Kids (While They Are Still Kids)
Recently my husband and I have become empty nesters! We love our children and love being parents, but raising them has been exhausting. We’ve been looking forward to the “empty nest” phase for a long time and we are not disappointed. However, we have both been surprised at the unique perspective this phase of life […]
Embrace the Challenges
A few months ago, I was giving an IQ test to an adorable little boy. As the questions became more difficult, he looked at me and said, “This is challenging. I love a good challenge.” His reaction was so different. Typically, children become frustrated when it gets too hard or they give a whiney variation […]
It Takes a Village
I am often sitting across from a child who has made some bad choices. In one specific situation, a boy complained, “My parents won’t let me go on a camping trip with my friends and a few of their dads because they are afraid I will do something stupid without them.” Due to the onset […]
“My Parents Care Too Much About How I Make Them Look.”
In a world full of social media, camera phones, and YouTube it is tempting to be overly concerned with what everyone else is doing and how we compare. However, our constant need to “manage our image” can be detrimental to our children. The danger of this was captured in a heartbreaking statement whispered to me […]
“My Parents Don’t Even Try to Understand Me!”
In 1987, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince recorded a hilarious song that captures the tumultuous relationship between teenagers and their parents called, “Parents Don’t Understand”. I am quite certain that at least one poet of every generation has pinned similar lines, which leads us to the wise kid statement of the month: “My […]
“They Always Take Everything Away From Me! ”
In the typical 21st century American household, children are given free access to most (if not all) of their favorite items. They can freely play with their toys, run around the backyard, gather their own snacks, turn on the TV, get their own drinks, and maintain control of their own electronic devices. As soon as […]
“What’s the Big Deal… I Just Get a Little Mad”
I spend my days hearing concerned parents say, “This child has an anger problem.” That statement is almost always followed by a child saying, “I just get a little mad.” I then proceed to ask the parents several questions. How do they display their anger (crying, tantrums, aggression)? How long does the episode last? Can […]
“Mom, You Worry Too Much”
A mother and her adorable 4-year-old son recently came in for counseling. The mother and I spoke about how to help him transition away from his favorite activities without having tantrums. As we continued talking, I spoke with her about the importance of taking her own thoughts captive. I told her, “Just because he has […]
“My Parents Are Always On Their Phones”
This month’s wise statement comes from children as young as three, as old as 19, and every age in between. This is not a one-time statement from my younger clients, it is a reoccurring cry for attention. The words are simple, but the implication is very telling: “My parents are always on their phones.” I […]